Fat guys have been given a bad rap lately. We’re blamed for everything from soaring health costs to cramped airline spaces, and the momentum of the anti-fat guy movement in America continues to swell.
We’ve had enough. As fat guys ourselves, we realize that we’re not responsible for your health costs (more people have died at the hands of bad Asian women drivers – have you seen them?), and we’re not responsible for your tiny airline seat (though the mystery smell midflight may be one of ours).
Our movement is meant as a quasi-support group for fat guys everywhere. We know that we’re funnier than the skinny idiots spending all their time in the gym, and laughter makes the world go round. We know that chicks dig us, even today, slightly (very slightly) past our prime, in a way that skinny dudes would never get. We know if you have a big dog you need a big house, that my easy living lifestyle will allow me to survive in the wild without food for longer than you (though I’d kill myself as soon as the Nacho Cheese Doritos ran out). We know that fat guys need a voice too. In the coming months, we’ll address your needs and worrys as a fat guy. We’ll be your Dr. Phil, your Oprah, your neighborhood bartender. We’ll point you to product that will make your life that much better, and we’ll rally you around a common enemy (we see you, guys at fatwhiteguy.com, with your group picture at your Super Bowl party, not a fat guy among you. FOR SHAME!)
In short, we’re here for you. Stay tuned…